You can explain the strategy, present the numbers, and finish every slide on time. People can understand everything you said and still leave unsure whether they trust you. Information tells people what you want to accomplish; your defining story reveals what guides you when accomplishing it gets difficult.
Let people see the source of your standards
A defining leadership story is not your entire life history. It is a specific experience that explains a standard you live by—learning the cost of staying quiet, listening before deciding, or accepting responsibility instead of making an excuse.
Ask: “Which experience helps people understand what they can expect from me?” That moves your story away from self-promotion and toward leadership.
In Stand Up, Speak Up & Show Out, I ask: “If all of this disappeared, what would I still be able to deliver?” Without the polished deck or title, what message do you truly own? In Captivate, I describe climbing the attention ladder by starting where listeners live. Introduce a real choice, name the tension, and clarify what you expect from others and yourself.
Tell the choice, not just the lesson
Saying “I believe in listening” shows nothing. Build your story around four foundational questions:
- What was happening? Give only necessary context.
- What was at stake? Explain the pressure.
- What did you choose? Include your responsibility without playing the hero.
- What does that require of you now? Name a visible practice.
Protect other people’s privacy; honesty does not require exposure without boundaries.
Make your story something people can check
If you claim to value honest feedback, prove it: let someone finish, ask questions before defending a decision, and return with an answer. Choose a practice you can sustain and let people hold you to it.
In Unlocking Your Unique “It” Factor, I encourage speakers to seek honest feedback from colleagues and mentors: “Where does my behavior contradict the message?” Receive their answer as preparation, not opposition.
The Takeaway
- Tell people what shaped your standard.
- Show what that standard requires of you.
- Invite their voices into the conversation.
Coming next: How to align daily leadership decisions with the standards you preach.
Ready to shape a story you can own and deliver? Explore coaching, book Gerard to speak, or download the guide to connect your experience to the people you lead.
